This excerpt is from “Inner Engineering” by Sadhguru. Our Kundalini Yoga community was rocked by scandal at the beginning of the year. It has been a very challenging time, to say the least. During that time, I went to Isha Institute and practiced Hatha. It helped me explore my connection to Kundalini, and how I wanted my relationship with it to either expand or contract.
In Kundalini Yoga, we are taught that women hold the frequency. If we want the world to shift, it first begins with us. We must raise our own vibration, our own frequency, and keep it elevated. This can be challenging when we are in crisis, so the practices hold even greater importance during those times.
While I have dropped my complete Sadhana practice in favor of being more present for my young children during our transition to homeschooling, I have still maintained my minimum daily practice. I have also kept many of the lifestyle practices. I appreciate the women’s teachings deeply because they ground me when the world feels like it’s swirling in all directions with me in tow.
I am offering an Overview of the Kundalini Yoga Women’s Teachings on August 10th at 8:00 – 9:30PM CST. The class will be held via Zoom and the cost is $30. To reserve you spot, pay here:
My husband is a trained scientist. His first view of the world is very concrete, analytical, mathematical, and scientific. His process is perfected and repeated. His initial tendency is to follow a strict, outlined process to come to a definitive conclusion.
I don’t operate from that perspective, and I’m still working on maintaining my expansive view while also being able to dial down to the intricate details. I work from a view of what is possible. My view tends to be imaginative in nature, posing questions of, “But must it be done THIS way? Why not another way?”
After a decade of marriage to my analytical husband, I recognize this expansive view can sometimes feel frustrating. It ignores a lot of what IS happening. It ignores the mess of human reality. It ignores pain, trauma, and toxicity.
However, maybe “ignore” is not the most appropriate term. Perhaps, “looks past” is a more effective alternative. This expansive view looks past our current reality in order to see a new reality forming. In order to do that, the expansive view must be imagined, then dialed down into our reality so that it can be manifested into creation.
To be successful with this, we have to hold onto what we want our reality to be while also honoring what our current reality is. Most individuals are incapable of doing both, so the need for collaboration, cooperation, and communication is an absolute necessity.
This is the current level of growth that I see humanity needing. I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll mention it before. We must release the “me only” mentality. It’s rampant, even among healers, helpers, and spiritual leaders. This mentality has served them, no doubt, but it is no longer serving the collective. It must be released. Learning to listen and respond, work together, and align on our goals is now imperative for human survival. I hope we move to rise up to this space.
I need people that can focus on details. I need people that can take an idea and put concrete steps into place. I need people that understand my vision and help create the process. I need people capable of taking a message and spreading it. I am a visionary. I am not a scientist. I am not a mathematician. It takes profound effort for me to do these things, while I can witness others doing it effortlessly.
This parallel relationship exists in all people. All people lean more in one direction over another. It does not make one person better than another, but it honors your intrinsic abilities so that you can find the right people to collaborate and align with to meet a joined goal.
For this to work, though, we each must focus on our healing. This is how we can create the spaces that are needed. This is how we lay the foundation necessary for our survival. It begins in our individual healing. It moves into our collaborative healing. It deepens as our relationships deepen. When we start understanding ourselves we become more responsible for our thoughts, feelings, and energy. We shift into compassion and love. This process brings us to a new level of consciousness and knowing.
We choose to let go of “me” and move into “we.” Me is a refusal to empathize and understand. We is an understanding to listen, understand, and maintain personal autonomy. It’s possible. It’s my vision. It is coming.
When you’ve spent your whole life in general security around what it means to be alive, being thrust into an entirely definition of that can feel rather disconcerting. It’s hard to know some of the most basic things of what it means to breathe, and I’m choosing this word deliberately. We are being set at odds against one another, which goes against our very nature.
So how do we stop conflict? Each and every one of us stops to listen to the other respectfully. It really is that easy, but unfortunately, for many, that is much easier said than done.
I appreciate children’s stories. In all of my years as a child therapist and not, I realize that all of our struggles are fundamentally the same. Although adults are larger and with more experience, when they aren’t behaving in a rational way, it is their inner child vying for attention usually due to latent childhood wounding resurfacing. Even when I work with adults, I usually approach the healing aspect in a way I would approach a child because that is the origin of our hurt.
I love this Shel Silverstein quote because he reminds us to listen. Listen to the wounded people carrying their wounding with them. Listen as they attempt to share their wounding, even if done inappropriately. However, ultimately listen to the greatest truth of all, yourself, your inner guidance, your truth… and continue on. What these people are doing is building walls where there don’t need to be any. Allow it then move on.
Many people often ask me what I am best at or what my specialty is in. My knowledge and experience has a wide breadth. However, what I am most gifted in is something I deeply deny because of the pain and struggle associated with it.
I am most gifted in shadow work. I am renowned for showing people their shadow sides. I work really hard to keep this gift contained in a nice little package, but often my presence alone is triggering for those that deeply deny their shadow aspects. As many people with deeply rooted gifts say, it is both a blessing and a curse. This definitely rings true for me.
I am very comfortable with my shadow, to an extent. It still brings me pain and struggle, but I see it coming and have come to terms with it in many ways. I have done a lot of work over the years unpacking the ugliest parts of myself so that when someone tries to use it to hurt me I am not blind sided. Usually I’m hurt because I am hurt daily by the state humanity is in, but no one is giving me new information about me. I welcome that, at least. I know myself intimately, all aspects of who I am, the good, the bad, the ugly.
We are entering a season where this is thematic. I suggest that you take the time to this work on the front end to help ease any tension entering into it. I know I will be deepening my self study. There can be no light without darkness and no darkness without light. If you deny this truth within yourself and refuse to integrate, you leave yourself unbalanced and in a constant state of duality. It is easier to own it, honor it, and learn to love it.
I think a significant part of this crisis is to show us where our time and energy is meant to be spent as well as bringing many of us back to our personal power. I believe we are realigning on a massive scale. If you’ve been through this individually, as a unit, or in a community, you know it’s an uncomfortable process.
Have you gained any insight into what you are supposed to be doing with your time? Have you meditated on where you spend your energy? Where are you using your power? Is it in alignment with what you want to do or what you think you should be doing? Are you taking the steps to move from one way of thinking and into another? Above all else, are you being gentle with yourself and others in the process?
Are you doing your inner work? Are you trusting your inner guidance?
If so, where is it taking you?
I am being guided back home to family, to my children, to serve here, to nurture their souls. I have been shown that I have over given, over stretched, and over burdened myself. I have given my power away by serving the needs of others in order to somehow be validated by someone outside of myself. It was a very toxic and a very human pattern to be in. I forgive myself. I also have called all of my power back to me so that I may be in alignment with my soul purpose at this time. I have expressed gratitude for the struggle I have endured and the clarity that I have received throughout this process.
Above all else, I am being gentle with myself and others in the unfolding of this process, holding all in the space of love.